Currently listening to: Broken Vessels by Travis Greene.
When I took this photo of my friend around June or July thereabout, I was in such a happy place. I had 2 interviews scheduled, one that would have given me an internship to help me get practical experience in this economics I’m doing, and the other was for a job I really really wanted.
Within 5 days, I lost that happy state of mind. The 1st interview mixed up times and called when I went for my exam. We eventually didn’t reschedule and that was the end. The job people never got back to me, even though I was in the final stages of the interview.
As usual, I said ‘I move 💪🏾💪🏾’, but did Sis really move?
No dear. I was hurt, I was bitter, I just kept saying to myself that if only it had worked out, my 2019 would have been amazing.
That clouded state of mind affected the rest of my year. Some times I was cranky, some times I was envious of my friends whose interviews went without a hitch. I was a mess emotionally…lol
But last month, I was praying and holy spirit brought it back. I thought I had dealt with it but I hadn’t because some nights before I slept, if only’s would gnaw at my mind.
I was like God, please cleanse my heart. This tightness in my chest, this bitterness, this constant if only that nagged me. Take it away, and brethren I’m glad to tell you that my chest is loose. My mind is sound.
I was watching @salemkinging video the other day, and honestly it summarized me this entire year. I kept holding onto what if’s, but not anymore!
Everyday, I will show up and add a block to the dream I’m building. Better opportunities will come I know this.
If what if’s and if only’s plagued your year and mind like me, I want to tell you to loose that knot in your chest. It’s not easy, e de pain, but you can’t keep hanging on to ghosts of the past. If it was a mistake on your part, forgive yourself. Let it go nwanne m.
This was originally supposed to be an Instagram caption, but I think it deserves to be here 💛.
How was 2019 my loves?
Have you ever felt this way?
How did you get rid of this feeling?
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